My Story » Jokes

Pay Attention in Class

LWJ — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 08:36:19 +0000

First-year students at a Medical School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.

The professor started the class by telling them, “In medicine, it is necessary to have 2 important qualities as a doctor. The first is that you are not disgusted by anything involving the human body.” For an example, the professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck it in his mouth. “Go ahead and do the same thing,” he told his students.

The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it.

When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them calmly and told them, “The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention….”

MCQ: Medical Student

LWJ — Sun, 25 Sep 2011 06:37:58 +0000

Definitely F man! LOL

Manglish

LWJ — Thu, 18 Aug 2011 12:44:38 +0000

One nice Manglish I spotted in Photo Malaysia forum! LOL

JOne is selling all cheap compare to other place… i like uncle jason…..

yeah some time when ramai people at his kedai, he will sibuk layan customer….that one i faham lohhh. but if u go when less customer…. uncle jason is like your old kawan lama even that day is you first time jumpa him…… .

for repair service i go to Dr cheah mutiara mall jalan ipoh near Digicolor… he is good. One of my lens have mandi at laut at terengganu… than i send to cheah……Wow come to me like new… lagi aaa that lens become so sharp…. than i say Wow wow wow wow

I dengar a lot of cerita that YL is suck right now……. yeah because YL is now like pasar borong….. So ramai People want to buy at they place….. why not we all in PMalaysia from now don’t got buy camera or other stuff there……. nanti baru YL rasa padan muka….. ha ha ha ha ha (im so evil right now)

BTW, just in case u don know what is Manglish, here u go..

Manglish (or sometimes Malglish or Mangled English) is an English based creole spoken inMalaysia.

Source? Wikipedia.. Haha

Swim Across Ocean??

LWJ — Sun, 14 Nov 2010 22:17:58 +0000

My friend found out this interesting thing..

When u route from Taiwan to China..

U have to swim across the Pacific Ocean… hehe

Funny In-flight Announcements

LWJ — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 13:48:55 +0000

On a Kulula flight, (there is no assigned seating, you sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, “People, people we’re not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!”

—o0o—

On another flight with a very “senior” flight attendant crew, the pilot said, “Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants.”

—-o0o—

On landing, the stewardess said, “Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you’re going to leave anything, please make sure it’s something we’d like to have.”

—o0o—

“Thank you for flying Kulula. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.”

—o0o—

From a Kulula employee: ” Welcome aboard Kulula 271 to Port Elizabeth .

To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don’t know how to operate one, you probably shouldn’t be out in public unsupervised.”

—o0o—

“In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with more than one small child, pick your favourite.”

—o0o—

Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we’ll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Kulula Airlines.”

—-o0o—

“Your seats cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments.”

—o0o—

“As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings.

Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses..”

—o0o—

And from the pilot during his welcome message: “Kulula Airlines is pleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!”

—o0o—

On Kulula flight 255 just after a very hard landing in Cape Town, the flight attendant came on the intercom and said, “That was quite a bump and I know what y’all are thinking. I’m here to tell you it wasn’t the airline’s fault, it wasn’t the pilot’s fault, it wasn’t the flight attendant’s fault. It was the asphalt.”

—o0o—

An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a “Thanks for flying our airline.” He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment.

Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, “Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?”

“Why, no Ma’am,” said the pilot. “What is it?” The little old lady said, “Did we land, or were we shot down?”

—o0o—

After a real crusher of a landing in Johannesburg , the attendant came on with, “Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we will open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal..”

—o0o—

Part of a flight attendant’s arrival announcement: ”We’d like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you’ll think of Kulula Airways.”

—o0o—

Heard on a Kulula flight: ”Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing. If you can light ‘em, you can smoke ‘em.”

Some Funny Photos

LWJ — Sun, 22 Aug 2010 03:52:49 +0000

LOL

Hi, nice to meet u..

WTH?

Most dangerous place in the earth!

Funny Photos Around The World

LWJ — Sun, 06 Jun 2010 06:04:23 +0000

The first one.. what brand of Mee? Maggi or Sedap?

2nd one.. Yeah, really WTF? lol

3rd one.. When under critical circumstances.. No time for waiting!@.@

4th one.. WAH!! really ma? Puki Mak U lah!

5th one. the truth!

last one.. not 5 i suppose with all the previous pictures?

Have fun!

Rude Word Dictionary?

LWJ — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 11:19:27 +0000

Saw this in FB.. classic man!

My response?

Where is Kam lan?

Chikungunya or Chiwawa?

LWJ — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 14:19:59 +0000

During post call round, Dr Asri asked us whether we know what is the meaning of Chikungunya.. The history of it?

someone answered “Dog”

He asked why dog?

He said dog..

Then someone said “Itu Chiwawa..”

lol

I couldn’t help myself but start laughing for a min.. haha

Oh ya, the iPad from Apple

Google's Interesting Questions

LWJ — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 09:27:22 +0000

Yesterday my friend Googled 1 very interesting question..

And he found his answer and was satisfied with it..

However, i’m not! :p

The question is not complete..

Maybe Google got confused

So i decided to Google again myself..

With more complete sentence..

And i found my answer and i’m very satisfied with it..

Thanks Google!